Jul 14, 2014
Guest: Amanda and Tim Winters
Website: http://thedailychip.com/
Twitter: Amanda: @DailyChipCookie Tim: @Winters53
Facebook: The Daily Chip
0:00:25 Our Chicago host are broadcasting from Manistee, Michigan for the annual "Snake the Lake" art fest
0:01:35 We welcome Bryn's cousin and cookie mogul Amanda Deegan Winters with her economist and beer meister husband, Tim Winters
0:02:40 We give a shout out to our extensive show notes- yay, us!
0:05:05 Bryn has started writing a new project after stalling on "Manfriend" and his horror film. He doesn't want to get into too many details, then decides to spill the beans
0:13:40 Amanda came into town and left Bryn with a 4-week career plan
0:16:30 Nilsa accepted a temp job at a school for September-January
0:17:05 Nilsa got new headshots/comp card taken this week- and it was the most fun and painless that she'd yet experienced. http://www.jordanmatter.com
0:19:05 Bryn was Nilsa's fashion consultant on a 14-hour shopping spree for the headshot session
0:23:20 Tim gets a primer on how finding an agent works
0:29:00 You hear that@DanHarmon? If @Harmontown has experienced an influx of listeners, it's surely because @rufypod relentlessly plugs you
0:31:00 Amanda, the baby of the family has been perfecting her cookie recipe since college
0:34:30 The business model is "bake at home"
0:36:10 The s'more cookie and the blueberry-oatmeal-white chocolate are currently in the test kitchen
0:37:15 thedailychip.com was designed by talented graphic designer, Laura Hines
0:40:45 We get some reminisces of young Bryn from young Amanda
0:43:30 For some damn reason, young Bryn wanted to go to the Air Force Academy and had a predilection for throwing young Amanda over his shoulder and running around with her. Spankings may have been involved.
0:46:30 Let's just say Amanda bears some emotional scars from Bryn's obsession with horror movies
0:47:50 Bryn has been known to write and perform raps at people's weddings, including Amanda's and Tim's
0:56:15 And now, for your listening enjoyment: "The Ballad of T&A" (warning, it's nearly 9 minutes long)
1:07:30 Amanda has identified Bryn's super hero persona , Captain Profound, because he thinks everything he says is loaded with import
1:11:00 Nilsa gave Bryn an extra-special birthday card and an "Awesome" themed set of birthday presents
1:15:55 If you use the code "podcast" at TheDailyChip.com and get 20% off of your first order
Outro Music: "Everything's Coming Up Roses"
Performed By: Klea Blackhurst
Written By: Jule Styne and Stephen Sondheim
"The Ballad of T&A" Lyrics By Bryn Packard; Copyright 2006, Renewed 2014 (With commentary by Amanda and Tim Winters)
A-bomb and Young Teezey…
For they wedding deezey…
Listen up, y’all
It’s time to wax rhapsodic
‘bout 2 tall lovers
I won’t leave ya catatonic
We’ve got joy and pain
And joy and pain times two
But fear not, dear friends
C’est denouement joyeux (We went to Paris for our Honeymoon which is why Bryn sprinkled in French)
I get ahead of myself
I’ll rewind, just a bit
Roll some credits on the cast
So you know who’s in it
Amanda Lynn Deegan
Is the first on this rack
Born in the year The
Empire struck back
She swam like a salmon, (A: I was a competitive swimmer growing up)
Not so in to toys
I think she went to school
With the Backstreet Boys (A: Nick Carter went to my high school)
Or 98 degrees,
Or some such stuff
On with the meat,
Gone with the fluff
The DiscoDoggFather
Was a trusted advisor
She bailed out the pool
Because the coach despised her
And jumped in a boat
With seven other chicks
And spent her college years
In maritime conflicts (A: I was on the George Washington Varsity Crew Team)
Her workout regimen would
Grind most joints to powder
She’s “Barbarian Woman” so
It’s best not to crowd her
She’ll conquer her body
Like a cross-training Hannibal (A: During our wedding I was training for triathlons)
…Then Marathon through the jungle
Dodging caimans and cannibals
Brawn and brains
An animal political,
Big woman on campus
And of lateness
She’s critical. It’s time to shift gears
In an X-Y direction
Now it’s the male
Pinned down for dissection
(Break)
Day 1 of the season (T: I was born on the first day of winter)
That his surname takes,
Into a region known
For its crab cakes,
Was birthed a man-child,
To be known as Tim,
Who would earn
A merit badge in masochism (T: Eagle Scout!)
If you have no idea
What I’m talking about
Strap-in for this voyage
You’re going to find out
Child of the 70s
Man of the millennium. Started
College writing code (T: I began college as a computer science major and switched to economics)
On an IntelTM Pentium
Decide not to live
The life of code monkey
Partied with a crew that
Preferred their beats funky
Gave a big ol’ hug
To Bohemian life
Then got body slammed
By some academic strife
He found his re-paved road
To scholarly fruition was much
Preferred to setting fire to tuition
He decided: (T: I was rushing a business frat but decided to stop the night Amanda and I met)
“Greek life’s just not for me”
Which now brings us to
A fateful party…
I think the best way
To relay this thread
Is to give the separate versions
He and she said
Tim say: she stepped
From the sweetest dream
Into my life
She listens like no other,
Could she become my wife
In a time, not too distant,
I will have this girl
I’ll remain persistent
As my days unfurl
Savoring these thoughts
As would a dog a bone
He completely spaced to ask
The digits to her phone (A: He never asked for my number and we talked the entire party)
Let’s flip this around
To get Amanda’s view:
What do you think of Tim?
…
…
… Who?
There you have it, folks
It’s Fated love, for sure
They managed a brief courtship
That wouldn’t endure
Some Instant Message Banter
And a little “Almost Famous” (A: We went and saw “Almost Famous” on our first first date…love that movie)
Then it’s “Ta-ta For Now” and
She boots him on the anus
He landed on the curb
Aching pride and rump, sayin’:
“I don’t believe it,
I just got dumped” (A: Yep I dumped him., was not feeling a relationship)
(Bell break)
It’s “For Whom the Bell Tolls”
At the start of Round 2
Up to speed on Ms. Deegan
Is where I lead you
Heart-taker, Ball-breaker
And general tease
Besieged by pursuers
Begging “please, baby, please”
She’ll shred any suitor
Leave a lovesick filet,
All the while maintaining that GPA
Down but, not out,
Crushed, but not defeated
With wounds of romance
That remain to be treated
Our hero pushes on
With a singular goal
To seize upon the heart
Of this gangstalicious moll
He schemed and strategized
Found a brand new tack
Cuz what’s not to like
She pulls wood in the Potomac
“I’ll be a smooth operator
“Cuz the ladies seem to love it
“I’ll hold discourse on her fineness
“And she won’t tell me to shove it
So he sets the date
Through MicrosoftTM IM
She’ll see he’s the man
When she gets a load of him –so he says-
“Missed us, Miss-ss-ss?
“Now you gotta kiss-ss-us.
“No kiss that I can give
“Will cure those frog legs, Princess
“Cuisses de grenouille…mmmm, so delicious
“It’s time to recognize
“This upstanding lad
“And let me share some space
“Upon your lily pad (A: my AIM screen names was ADFrglgs, frog legs was a nick name in high school)
It didn’t take long
For his words to sink-in
She unleashed a firestorm
Of what she’s thinkin’:
“Did you just call me Mrs?
“I’m most certainly amiss
“And the length of my gams
“Are not your business
“Even with this new persona
“That you’ve tried to create
“You just ain’t man-enough
“…and 47 seconds late
“It’s a tough break bozo
“But you must relent
“Cuz you are the Winters
“Of my discontent (A: I dumped Tim again)
(Break)
With forces at work
That he’ll never understand
Once again his heart’s been pillaged
By that river rat brigand
Feeling so rotten
That he might ferment
He brought voice
To his sorrows
Wailing this lament:
“You know it’s hard out here bein’ Tim
“She’ll disintegrate my ego on a whim
“I’m sure, deep down, she’s real nice
“But first you got to melt that heart of ice (A: His friends hated me, my friends were not to pleased either)
So he emerged from the rubble
Of attempt number two
And steeled his resolve
For what he had to do
Time to get on with livin’
Or get on with dyin’
And our hero trudged on
Amidst a deluge of cryin’
He got himself employed
On the taxpayer dollars (T: I worked for the Monthly Retail Trade Survey for the first ten years of my career)
Bought himself some shirts
With plenty white collars
Crankin’ out reports
Ream-after-ream
But that freakin’ harpy
Keeps haunting his dreams…
This is the part of the movie
Where you shout at the screen:
“You’re going to bad places
“That you’ve already been
“She’ll swallow you whole
“And declare: ‘He tastes mutton-y’
The acute diagnosis is: punishment gluttony
The womb of his obsession
Hatched another scheme
Yet another stratagem, yet another theme
Is he love’s General Patton?
Is he really that adroit?
Will he boom like Chicago?
Or bust like Detroit?
The field of play is the arena
Where I’ll make my stand
To trounce her in a contest
Is how I’ll win her hand
Hmmm, yeah, sure
Makes so much sense
Love is the logical progression
That defeat presents
So he set the race
With his desired consort
You’ll have to let me know how
That works out for you, sport
Race day came and went (A: I was supposed to run a 5k with Tim one Sunday morning but realized he was going to kick my butt so I drank a bit to much the night before and stood him up)
But she never showed
A date with firewater
Left her mortally slowed
Rather than face
Such embarrassments
She hid from the sun
In the room she rents
One shot down
Time for plan B
He’ll make his play (A: He invited me to go night skiing when I saw him everything changed)
On the slopes and
Invite her to ski
Knock-knock on her door,
Looking smartly dressed
The Ice Queen can’t help it
She’s duly impressed
He was sportin’ some bling
And a fresh new scent
She bait-hooked his ass,
They’ve been together ever since
So their love’s trended upward
Exceeding market norms
Above the standard deviation to
Which most conform. Bringing
Them much joy
And efficiency. Their incentives
Were aligned for this matrimony.
What will their honeymoon bring,
Once the wedding bells toll?
Perhaps some public service
With his Gallup Poll
As they lounge on Myrtle Beach (T: we took a mini honeymoon right after the wedding to the beach prior to going to Paris in the fall)
Sipping Gin and Tonics
Then its back to the room
For some real Freakonomics
…Uh sir,
This really is a family affair,
Please refrain from being naughty
Like you just don’t care.
Good point my man,
I’ll drop the innuendo
And steer this weighty tale
To its final crescendo.
From Nemesis to Genesis,
Like Adam and Eve
This is the first strand
Of the story they weave
Will they be CEOs, Senators
Or Think Tank Gangsters?
Or something beyond the ken
Of us mere mortal wanksters?
Running and study’s
What they’re now about
And trying home décor concepts
From “While You Were Out”
Just take time to hold hands
And kiss on the veranda
Welcome to your future,
Timothy and Amanda